Specialist for Hire
by ThieveingLegend
Summary: Sorry I had to remove it.... rated T yea come on.. I sometimes have a gutter mind... Cooper Gang recrutets a spcialist after putting them trought hard traning. Some romance later ... maybe if I can fit it in.
1. Chapter 1: So it begins

small light flickers on figure stands bathed in the shadow light Greetings. My Name is not really important as I begin my escapades here in this…. Section of fanfiction. If you ask what I support it will be revealed in due time. So sit back and relax mes amis et apprécient l'exposition. Or in English… my friends and enjoy the show. light turns off

**Paris, France**

**1:38 or 0138 hours a.m.**

Ahh... Paris. City of love, home of the Eiffel tower. If you look around and listen very closely my friends you should hear the faint buzzing of a small lightning bug as it charts it's delightfully vibrant lighted course through the air. If you watch it fly carelessly through the air it lands on the windowsill of a house. It sits and rests from its small journey. Then…

Squish! It lies flattened under a closed window as a French man err…animal stepped back to his chair in front of a computer. He types slowly but surely. Out of the corner of his eye e looks at his cup of gourmet coffee, now cold and undrinkable. The dark liquid made small ripples and this lizard stared at it. More ripples as a set of feet ran across his roof above his head. He sighed and continued to type ignoring that another set of thumps sounded from his roof as the first pair of feet left. Up upon the rooftops, where in my opinion, the view of Paris never looked better considering how high up it was. A shadowy figure darted across several rooftops gracefully as another chased after firing an electrical weapon furiously.

"Do you have the van ready buddy?" the first figure said into a small clip mic, as he expertly dodged a few more shots with relative ease.

"Sure thing chum. I'm ready to burn rubber" came the response in his ear audio device.

"Come back here thief!" yelled the one with the weapon. She was of course female and had a fiery temper. The figure she chased stopped at the edge of the building. And all you could make out was the shine of a well-polished metal object. It's gold glint shined as the moonlight reflected off of it.

"Well. Inspector Fox. We meet again"

"Freeze you criminal"

"Now is name calling all that necssicary, my lovely yet fiery inspector?"

"Cut the flirty chit-chat you scoundrel" The armed female demanded. The fist, obviously a male, copped a fake wince looking like he was hurt.

"Ooh… ouch. That hurt Carmelita. That hurt a lot"

"If you think that was bad…" She muttered. The male chuckled then did a back flip on to a van in the alleyway. " Hey wait!" she yelled as the van drove into the street. "I'm not finished with you yet!!!"

"Alas time has run short" Then a thought came over the male escapee, "Au revoir mon amour! J'espère vous revoir bientôt beau!" he yelled speaking some French that the Inspector would not understand in the least"

"COME BACK HERE COOPER!!!!" The vixen yelled into the night, shaking her fist at the retreating van as it drove away into the night.

-- --- -- --- -- ---

"Ahh it's great being back guys" The escaped 'criminal' mentioned as the van speed down the streets.

"If you don't mind me asking Sly. What was with the French?"

"I don't know Bent. I just felt like trying something new. So I bushed up on the 'language of love'" Responded the notoriously clever, witty and… dare I say it… 'sly' master thief of the Cooper Clan.

"Mon amour?" The brilliant turtle asked, repeating what the sneaky raccoon had said. The driver, by the name of Murray, laughed. Even he knew what that bit of French meant. Sly shrugged. "My love, Sly?" Bentley the turtle shook his head. "I knew you had a thing for he but … jeez buddy."

"Hey faking the amnesia wasn't easy. It was hard. I guess we'll always be playing a game of cops and robbers with the lovely Inspector." Sly thought out loud. His two companions, and accomplishes, sniggered then ended up laughing their hardest.

"Man Sly you're a raccoon over the edge!" Murray laughed as they stopped an abandoned part of the outskirts of Paris. Sly pulled the prize jewel from his bag.

"Hey Bentley!" Sly called as his friend turned his wheel chair to look in his direction. "Heads up" he tossed the hot property to his smaller friend. "Let's get the money to the orphanage soon. I have to change. That heist had me in a sweat all night long."

"Okay. Don't take too long Sly. We have to plan for the next heist."

"Already?" Murray asked, "Jeez Bentley… you're gonna get poor Sly to pull something if he keeps up all these jobs."

"Yea Bentley. Give me some time to rest"

"Alright Sly." Bentley said using the wheel chair to jump the stairs. "Let's take a week off you guys."

"YES!" The other two yelled as Bentley sighed.

"I'm too easy on you two" He muttered.

"And that's why we love ya chum!" Murray concluded as Sly nodded in agreement.

-- --- -- --- --

Inspector Carmelita Fox swore under her breath as she opened the door to her house and stepped inside. Some case files when open on her desk. These were leads on possible next heist targets for the nigh un-catchable Cooper Gang.

"¡Mapache estúpido… siempre que me da apuro!" She yelled as she vented in her native tongue. She thought about what that Cooper had said to her be fore she got away. "No way am I going to ever figure out what that Cooper said to me" she muttered, still pretty pissed that the Cooper Gang had escaped… again. The chief would have her head for sure.

"¡Juro que cogeré a ese ladrón si es la cosa pasada que lo hago!" Carmelita vowed before she finally let sleep get the best of her and she dozed off.

-- --- -- --- --

As Sly and his friends split and went to their rooms, the clever Raccoon was already thinking of what to do on his 'vacation'.

He checked his cell (which he bought…. no for real it's legit!) It noted that Sly had one missed call. He checked the caller ID. Only Cooper Gang members had his number. It was from Dimitri.

As he listened to the message it said that someone had come to assist in their thieving operations. He claimed that he was a skilled specialist in weapons and could make drastic improvements to existing weapons as well. Sly grinned knowing that their heists were going to be that much safer with a weapons specialist. He went to sleep knowing that come Friday their team just might have filled their vacant position.

-- --- -- --- --

Well now… I think that's a good start…. Yea I just write when I can cuz my computer can't save files anymore. So read and review please and tune in next time for another exciting entry!!!

Lolz

Any flames…. (Yes I know that there are ppl that do that) will be used to cook marshmallows and make s'mores with Murray.

R&R doodz!


	2. Chapter 2: FLASHBACK! RUN!

HEY! I'm updating already! Yea this is ThieveingLegend sayin hi again! So um… yea… was I really that in character? Kool I feel special! FREE COOKIES FOR ALL WHO REVEIWED AND WHO EVEN THOUGHT OF IT!!!! WHOOO PARTY!!! Sleep dart hits neck

Sly: Jeez. Crazy woman. Lays blanket of meh k.o.ed self Alas I'm too much of a gentleman for my own good. Oh… she has readers. Bonjour! Hmm…. You can thank my buddy Bentley for the unconscience author.

Bentley: Yea it's all my fault Sly….

Sly: Well it is… you pulled the trigger.

Awkward silence

Sly: Anyway ThieveingLegend doesn't own me or Bentley or any of the other Sly Cooper text, ideas, places or people. Au revoir et apprécier ! Or in English… goodbye and enjoy! Bentley and I are going to hack into Miss crazy's computer and see what she has in store for us.

Bentley: ….She likes destruction too much for my tastes

Sly: That's stupid Bentley. Destruction is everywhere. Under breath Stupid global warming….

Where did we leave off last…? Ah! Yes that's it! That poor firefly died due to a window. Poor thing. It didn't need to have its life end in such a way. But we must carry on. A door creaked open as a small and quiet snoring sound traveled through out the room. A short shadow shown over a bed as the person rolled over to the sleeping… man (for the lack of a better word) silently. The shorter person chuckled before the nudged the sleeping person with the knuckles on their hand.

"Wake up" he muttered while he turned to leave. "You don't want to waste this rare vacation and just sleep it away my friend" the sleeper moaned a bit before mumbling a sub-conscience 'all right'. The other finally left as the sleeper sat slowly and muttered some quiet nonsense. He finally stepped out of the small bed and untangled himself from the blankets half-hazardly but did it with the grace of a gymnast despite the fact he was still half a sleep and still dreaming. Groggily he slipped on a pair of trousers and in pure bachelor style he slung a seemingly clean shirt over his bare shoulder and grabbed that all too familiar mask he usually wore. Trudging down the stairs he fell on the old couch in their safe house in a very animated fashion. Even a small cloud of dust escaped the old sagging couch as it creaked from the newly added weight.

Sly blearily gazed at his large pink friend before he sat up allowing room for his child hood friend to sit down. Murray munched happily on his cereal as the master thief turned on the news.

"Where are the others Bentley?" Sly asked his intelligent chum. "I'm thinking of a big get together. We can all hook up after the aces tournament." Bentley's glasses fogged a bit as he thought of Penelope again.

"S-sure thing Sly. W-we can f-find the others"

"Cool. Thanks buddy" Sly called obviously amused at Bentley's reaction at seeing all of their friends again, especially 'The Black Baron'. He mentally reflected back on the first few weeks with the new RC pilot. She seemed to like Sly but…. He had his sights on Carmelita. He talked to Bentley in the Caribbean and told him to give it his all to get Penelope's attention off of the master thief and on to himself. That cleared up any problems or future fights between the two friends. (A/N: now I may be off a bit cuz I haven't finished Sly 3 yet… what? Gets shot) The news reporter went on and on about how Sly deceived Inspector Fox yet again and made off with the stolen loot.

"The illustrious Sly Cooper, newly back in the thieving business has yet again escaped form Interpol's best Inspector. Our camera men and reporters failed to get an interview from the inspector her self." A video began to play showing a very angry Inspector Fox slam the door in the faces of camera men as the tried to stop her from leaving do they could get a few questions in but the were too late and far too weak to place their foot in the door and get the answers they wanted. (A/N: ACK! A run on!!!! Escape! Run for ur lives!!!!) As they followed the inspector before she shut the door they yelled out questions like 'Are you currently in a relationship with some one?' or 'Are you distracted by the insanely good looking Sly Cooper?' or 'What is your favorite color!?'

Sly tossed the remote to Murray in disgust as his friend promptly turned the channel to a wrestling match and laughed about how 'The Murray' could defeat them with his little finger. The young Cooper walked to the commuter that Bentley was furiously typing at, with a passion, as he pulled up his slightly drooping pants.

"I need a new belt" he muttered as he looked over Bentley's shoulder at the computer screen.

"I'll alert the media" Bentley chuckled before trying to hastily hide what he was typing.

"Wow Bent" Sly …slyly said about the text he had read. "You've made progress. Pet names already?" (A/N: ohhh jeez… Sly's name causes the pun crap. Dood it's hard with that name.)

"Uhh… it's none of our business Sly."

"Sure thing buddy tell 'Cuppycake' I said hi" The thief laughed and Murray joined in. Bentley crossed his arms and turned away from Sly. "Come on Bentley. This just gives you room to make fun of me more when I call Carmelita stuff like 'my love'."

"You've got a point." Bentley said lightening up a bit. He laughed quietly as he continued his conversation with their RC pilot and he informed her that 'Team Cooper' would come back to the tournament to claim victory yet again.

--------/-\--------

Carmelita rolled over in her bed and grunted, still feeling tired from the late night chase. 'Damn that Cooper. Always causing me trouble' She yawned and stretched slightly before getting up and pulling on the normal halter top and form fitting jeans she wore. She also mentally cursed the reporters from last night and their intruding questions.

Her tail swayed through that air and gave her a look of utmost… well all I can say to describe it is that it left the great Sly Cooper almost speechless. Many a time had her beautifully formed figure left the Cooper heir practically drooling from the sidelines as he been sneaking about while avoiding her and that deadly shock pistol, and been caught off guard by her looks. She didn't even bother to turn on the news for she knew it was just going to be filled false rumors about her and Cooper. That was something she definitely did not need in the morning. So what if she didn't catch him yet. There's no need to say such nonsense on television for the world to hear. That was one thing her and Sly agreed on. Those rumors were ridiculous slander. (A/N; ooh. Slander… big word! Lolz)

The lovely Inspector stepped out side, after a quick breakfast of course, and drove to the Interpol station for another day of idiots making her life a living hell. Carmelita loved it when she had 'Constable Cooper' to help her out at the office. He told off any sexist idiot that tried making a move on her. After he left she was wide open for the horribly sexual remarks that is, until a day janitor decided to help out. He had that twinkle in his eye that said he was honest and a warm smile that made her fell better no matter what. Due to his being a raccoon (A/n: ooh it's such a mystery. Bet cha five bucks that you can guess) he also had the tone of mischief in his smooth voice.

The time he helped her was right by her office. It was an… interesting situation, to say the least.

FLASH BACK!!!!! Dun dun dun!

It was a day like no other… yea right… hell no. For Inspector Fox the day was another in a living prison that came from the deepest pits of Hades it's self. She was finishing some case files and writing a report on Cooper's recent escape the night before. A lion strolled by Carmelita's office but stopped before turning back and leaning in the doorway.

"So Inspector, how about you and me hit the movies later. Then maybe we can go to your place and I can help you cope with the loss of your partner." He said giving a very suggestive look at the Inspector's um… well… er… yea. Moving on! Carmelita cursed the world for being stuck at the office with testosterone driven fools. A shadowy figure out in the hall listened to the comments being said by the other man. He was hidden, as most of the lights in the complex were switched off. The man had overtime and had to clean up after all of the Interpol employees.

"Richard. Please just go home."

"Fine Inspector." He muttered. Carmelita became confused. This was too easy. Something's really wrong.

"I just wanted to know… if I said that you…"

A silence followed.

"Yes Constable?"

"… had a hot body… would you hold it against me?"

More silence. Then the cracking of knuckles was heard.

"It's not polite to say such a thing to a woman."

"And what are you going to do about it?" The constable retorted. A loud smack was heard as the other man slugged him into the next week. The janitor dusted of his clothes and picked up the whimpering constable by the collar and slammed him against the wall. Carmelita stood laughing at the spectacle of a full-grown man getting his butt kicked by a janitor.

"Apologize. Before I…" the other man was muffled then came a cough as the janitor spat out blood and the constable's steel toed boot made contact with his chest. "Bad move" The constable's smile disappeared and the janitor, whose nametag read 'Sylvester', turned the constable around to face the Inspector. "Your honor Miss Fox." He grunted.

A loud slap followed the words and an overjoyed Inspector Carmelita Fox threw Constable Leery into a closet while the Janitor laughed at the worried Constable. "Don't worry Mr. Leery. The other janitors will find you soon enough. Remember… this never happened" Constable Leery nodded feverishly as the door closed and darkness surrounded him. Sylvester chuckled as the usually angry Carmelita laughed. The followed that small incident up by talking the night away and Mr. Voleur (the janitor's last name)

Finally ended up driving Carmelita home with the promise to speak again soon.

END FLASH BACK!!!! (finally!)

She greeted said janitor as she entered her office.

"I hear those rumors are starting again. I feel sorry for you." He mentioned.

"Thanks but come on. They're just rumors. Soon everyone will find out that it's not true and forget about it." Carmelita mentioned and Sylvester nodded his tail swaying quickly as he sat crouched on the large closed bucket the mop was place in.

"Your right. Like every storm this will soon come to pass." He pulled a back flip off the bucket and landed it perfectly on the ground with a small squat. He tipped his hat to the Inspector and walked off with a mischievous air surrounding each step he took before he exited Carmelita's range of vision.

HOLY CRAP!!!!! Jeez that was long. I hope I stayed in character this time a well! FREE COOKIES FOR REVEIWERS! And the origin for that bad pick up line will be reviled next chapter and… Mr. Voleur's last name will be translated in due time. Can you resist that urge to go to a translator and figure out what it means? To build temptation you can go to:

and then click on the translator link.

Now press that little button and review for it sends subliminal messages to your mind. Pictures of monkeys, pizza, and ice cream will flash…… and you will click the llittle button…. Lolz

R&R

BELIVE IN THE FORCE!!! IT COMMANDS YOU TO REVIEW!!!!

Jeez I'm such a dork… ciao

-ThieveingLegend


	3. Chapter 3: The big tell off

Wow... I'm absolutely speechless. But hey I'm gonna say something anyway. Octavio Kaiser Scott. You are a sick twisted little... rrr... CRAKER-BOX! I would love to go all out and start swearin' at you but hey. I can't do that! You place the replies to your vicious reviews and PMS on your profile and honor them like some trophy. I'm a fag am I?! Well why don't you, instead of putting the comment on your profile, say it to my face!!!

I can't believe it! I was going to be civilized and review on your Cooper story but no way cracker-box! Yea so shove it! I just can't believe how childish your being!!!! What are you? Some kinda chick!?! Yea like those rumor speadin', Life dystroyin' little buggers that live to completely and utterly ruin other people's lives!!!

Back to the fag comment. You know, I know gay people and I for one am extremely insulted by your display of cowardice by doing that. It takes a big man to walk away but this is unecussable. Sorry did I spell that wrong. Well back off and leave it alone. Yea I'm dedicatin' this rant to you buddy! That's right I'm tellin' you off. I'm a gay rights activist and the fag thing crossed the line. I may not be gay but I know, and I'm friends with, people that are.

Even Octavio in the Sly Cooper game is less evil then you. And don't forget to chalk down that Octavio kicked down a cripple and polluted the water stream with deadly toxic tar. I would rather worship that guy, instead of sittin' back and watchin' you flame other people. I don't want to start a war over this but I feel that it's neccisary to tell you how mush of a jerk your being. Are you some kinda critic?! Wanna know something? I'm a 14 year old that probably has more common sense then you!!!! What the duck is your problem anyway!? Do you find enjoyment out of your pathetic life as you flame everyone's work!?!? That's right I called you pathetic!

And for one thing I'm **not** a dumbass. I'm moving on into the freshman year of my high-school and I'm in all honors classes. I've been in the honors system for my school life since second grade! I'm not going to have my intelligence disrespected by some pathetic little coward like you! So stop this nonsense and knock it off with your little act! I have a bight and large future ahead of me! Do you have nothing better to do with your life then to flame people!? I mean **come on**!!

Ahem. I'm completely surpised that I didn't swear at you once durring that whole thing. To my other reveiwers, I'm sorry if you thought this was another chapter to the story. And you guys are invited to the bon fire/ s'more outting/ burning Neyla to a crisp party. That flame Octavio Kaeiser Scott sent is plenty big to support the fire.

And Octavio? I'm sorry but your invitaion may have gotteen lost. Cuz your name isn't on the list here… Bentley checked it. And Bentley's never wrong. Maybe it got into my paper shread pile on accident. And if you think you got me crying think again. I never cry. Ever. I stopped a long time ago after I went through some sick crap in my life. I used to be a pretty happy person but now I'm only insane due to idiots like you. My uniform? An overly baggy pair of pants and baggy black hoodie, driving gloves and a bandana or beanie cap. You can't take what ever smart-aleck comment you have and shove it UP YOUR--- excuse me. I'm getting out of hand. I must compose myself and relax. Perhaps a game of chess with Bentley is what I need. Yea that should do the trick. Caio Octavio Kiaser Scott. May your days ened with a one way trip to the deepist, darkest pits of hell itself. And in my book hell is **not** a swear.

Again Ciao to all my friends and you Mr. Scott.

MONTAIN OF COOKIES TO ALL MY NICE REVEIWERS!!!!! Any kind you want.

Ciao,

- ThieveingLegend


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